Today’s report

I don’t know what else to do right now, so I’m going to post.

BLAH! I hate WordPress! I hated Squarespace, and now I hate WordPress! I loved Typepad, but I had to drop out of that blogging system over two years ago because I was hacked into by my employer and photos were stolen from me. Hell, I wish I had named this blog so I couldn’t be found here either. I give up!

All I want to do is upload three free patterns I designed personally so I can get a Ravelry designers’ credit. I have a new design I want out there. I have no intention of making these pay patterns, as the returns are minimal. But after getting my husband to help me last night, I went in to make corrections on the sidebar today and now I can’t do it. The HTML isn’t working, I feel like a retard, I am ready to run screaming into the streets because running into the streets is all I can do – driving, as we know, is not an option.

I should be working on the job search. Okay, I am. I have a good lead and a good reference for a place very close to home. I will apply tomorrow. I don’t want to send the resume and app electronically, I’d rather go in person. So my husband will shuttle me tomorrow, on his day off.

Today, an old friend is picking me up for lunch. Another friend is visiting me on Sunday. These are all positive things. I transferred $53.00 from my Etsy store to my bank account yesterday, and cashed a health insurance check for $24.00 yesterday. I will also pick up $40 from a custom Etsy order in the next week. Am I getting a severance check? I don’t know. Communique has been cut off – not by me, understand.

So let’s see how long that $100+ will last. I will also get my tax refund next week – we’ve agreed it will all go to me. I don’t know if I can contribute to rent and electric, as I normally do. It will depend on when and if unemployment kicks in.

I pray Oprah will save me with her witchcraft – no, seriously, even though I have been keeping the TV OFF, I watched Oprah’s “Living in Tough Eco Times” or whatever the eppy was called on Monday, and learned how to live on next to nothing. We have lived on $40 of groceries this week, I know that. I have been living on two bowls of Special K a day, personally. Stress means I don’t eat. Weight Watchers, which I’ve dropped, would be so proud. I’ve lost another five pounds.

I realize now that I was living well outside my means. I hope my husband, who I fear becoming a burden to, will work with me on getting a budget together. I’ve killed Netflix, the paid blog, and want him to cancel almost all of the cable. If I could cancel the useless gym membership, I would, but outside of proving I have lost my legs, I am not sure that’s possible. We’ll see.

People have it so much worse than me. I am not some special case. In a way, I am glad to be free of my former place of employment. The stress was insurmountable at times, and I let my friendships and my life go on hold while I was on call night and day in service to another. That is sad. I have well and truly put the place behind me, and any residual anger or sadness is gone, too. It doesn’t take me long to forget someone or something that has done me wrong. I can close the book and move on fairly easily. My main regret is my continual trusting of people who eventually turn out to disappoint me. It happens.

Okay, I am ready for lunch.


One comment

  1. Toni · February 5, 2009

    As someone who has been at home for the last, dear god it can’t be almost five years! The best advice I can give is stop with the Oprah now before it is too late. Fortunately she is now such a wackadoodle that it’s easy to stop. I have a few slow cooker recipes that generate a ton of leftovers if you are interested. Good luck with the job lead tomorrow.

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