Where are you going, where have you been

That is one of my favorite short stories, for what it’s worth. By Joyce Carol Oates. Depressing as all get out, but that’s the way I like my short stories. I have been around, in the velvet cage. Making some things, thinking some thoughts, looking for jobs.

There are so many things I would like to write, but somehow, when push comes to shove, I find this is not the forum. So instead I will say that I did a bad bad thing today and ordered the new Kim Hargreaves pattern book, Breeze. My partner in Web crime Gina will tell me I did a good thing. With patterns this divine, I could not stop myself.
LOVE. I’ll take the skirt, too, please.

What can I say except that even escape in the form of entertainment is proving to be a transient pleasure. As I await Band of Outsiders from Netflix, I still look back fondly on a weekend watching Tropic Thunder. I am a lead farmer motherfuckers, don’t ever forget it.
See, I mix it up. The Goddard with the blockbusters. Woman cannot live by French flicks and Masterpiece Theatre adaptations alone. Though I have tried.

I have become a bottom feeder, selling almost my entire DVD collection on half.com — though some things will never go. I’m looking at you, Rushmore and Days of Heaven. But buh-bye, L.A. Confidential and Dressed to Kill. You fetched a pretty penny this weekend.

Jon and I went to see Adventureland this weekend, and I fear I cannot get the movie out of my head. It’s not that it was the greatest movie put on film — it was good, don’t get me wrong. But it made me so nostalgic for 1987 I think it has put me in a bigger funk than I already was. As I told another friend, I am in such a funk I am reaching Bootsy Collins levels.
When I say nostalgia, I mean that ache for things that were and can never be again. For making mix tapes, for a time before e-mail and stupid, stupid Facebook and Twitter (even though, yes, I do both of those), before newspapers and record stores closed en masse.

Yes, I still have records. Yes, I still have a record player. After watching Adventureland, I came home and put one record on that had a song featured in the movie, and it hasn’t left my player since. No, not The Replacements or Hüsker Du — I was never a fan of either. Not even Crowded House (though I am a fan, and have seen them three times). I was a weird combination of a goth girl and a Brit pop fan. Go figure that one out.

There’s so much I want to say but can’t. Maybe I’ll say some things this weekend. This weekend is my 20-year college reunion and I’m not going. I wanted to, but circumstances have made it a not-so-good idea. If nothing else, it would have been nice to show off my husband, because he’s a bit of a prize.

No, I’ll just keep playing that record.

I don’t have many friends I can talk to,
No wear to run when I’m in trouble….



  1. Bonnie · April 14, 2009

    Hang in there. It isn’t easy and someday I’ll tell you the story of my non-firing-firing. That is what happens when you work with attorneys (aka sneaky f#%ks). Years later I am still bitter.

    Need a good dumb movie, I cannot recommend Beerfest enough. It is funny and makes fun of the movie formula. Need a sneak peek? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX3xFEyWOFY&feature=related

  2. Bonnie · April 14, 2009

    Same clip basically but better quality http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feKbhuZIeBk&feature=related

  3. tanyadiva · April 14, 2009

    Bonnie, thanks. And btw, Jon and I LUV Beerfest!

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