Imaginary shopping/Imaginary pie

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the past week, and a lot of imaginary shopping. When you’re unemployed and cash poor, this is the thing to do.

Imaginary shopping is sort of like shopping from stash, but different. Shopping from stash is actually doable. For example. I am so going to make this, the cover piece from the Spring Vogue Knitting:
Yes, the Botanica Medallion Cardi does look a little, challenging, especially for ol’ lefty here, but I think I can handle it. And saints and glory be, I actually have the required quantity of Blue Sky Alpacas Skinny Cotton in my stash! In a soft pink, mais bien sur! It’s on like Donkey Kong. As soon as I finish my super secret project, grumble grumble grumble. And by the way, if you haven’t checked out the Vogue Knitting 360 part of their Web site, I highly recommend it. Yes, the music is elevator quality, and the model is a little slouchy and has no tits. But it DOES give you a good idea of how these garments hang, so something that might have looked great all styled up in print really doesn’t when you see it in the round.

Believe me, when I went to TNNA last year (the first and last time) I tried on some of the garments for the Fall 2008 issue in their booth. A more sorry, picked over bunch of stuff you have never seen in your life – and why wouldn’t they be? I didn’t WANT to try them on! Why on earth should I? But they urged me to! Hey, if you let Tits McGee stretch out, you suffer the consequences.

Moving on, after perusing my Kim Hargreaves Breeze, I find I am in trouble. Because the two things I want to make the most, the big boyfriend sweaters, require beuacoup yardage I simply don’t possess. It’s time for imaginary shopping!

Yes, Webs is great. But they don’t take Pay Pal, and I’m not using credit cards, oh, ever again. I like to haunt Kpixie for their 40% off sales, but those are reserved for my hat box of stash for the Etsy store (psst. No one is buying. Tear). And while I’ve recently discovered Little Knits, I’ve yet to take the plunge. It’s just imaginary shopping — i.e., putting it in the cart, adding it up and then walking away.

I think I’m going to have to eventually try Knit Picks, because they’re the cheapest for some DK cotton. Frankly, I’m not thrilled with their business practices, but I’m also not thrilled with my checking balance. No matter how bad I want to buy yarn now, it’s simply not going to happen for some time.

So, I will probably make this:
Out of some Elsbeth Lavold Silk Wool I have in stash. Just enough! It won’t be needed until Fall, so this can be a slow, leisurely summer project.

Other than that, it’s been a quiet-ish week. After selling nothing, I sold two DVDs on, one for substantial money. Huzzah! It was the Season 1 Pushing Daisies DVD, and though I will miss Lee Pace’s sweet, sweet face, I thank him for the cash. Confession: I bought the thing and horded it until just this week. I sat down yesterday and today and watched it all in one gulp. Now, I have a painful craving for pie that won’t be assuaged until I make one.
I did watch some of Season 2 last fall until it was cancelled, and have five episodes waiting to watch on TiVo. Who knows how long I will horde those? Probably until ABC deigns to show the final three episodes in May. I am waiting on tenterhooks. Oh, and I adore Kristin Chenoweth, too, just so you know, and wish to come back as her in my next life. I have her first CD of show tunes and adore it.
Used to play it in the store on rotation sometimes. You know, back when I had a job. It would calm the savage customers. And they were savages…

My husband has been very ill this week, and it has pained me to have to watch him struggle and trundle to work in spite of this. Although I did take him to the doctor on Wednesday. More and more I feel like such a burden as a non-worker, and I wish it could be any other way but this. To see your spouse put in double hours at work, and come home so spent and tired is a hard pill to swallow. I love him so much, and wish I could have prevented this.

On the plus side, I applied for a job today that I feel real confidence about. I pray I get a call for an interview. It is close to home, and if I were to actually get it, we could work around the no-car-for-me thing with ease. It’s not the greatest thing in the world, but I need to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING. Watching The Price is Right is not benefitting me or anyone else.

After three months, I have finally let go the pain and hurt I felt over what happened to me back in January. I know that losing my job was not my fault. I can come out and say now that when you work for someone who is erratic and bullying, you reap the consequences. I am proud of myself for trying to keep my integrity. It is hard to work so diligently for someone who has absolutely none, and who rewards your hard work and devotion with the immortal words, “get the fuck out.” So there. I’ve finally said it to the world, or rather, the five people who read this blog, and let it go.

I am a good person who didn’t belong there. I can say it and be free. And do all the imaginary shopping I want!



  1. Bonnie · April 28, 2009

    Over it? Good for you. I still carry a seething resentment over my non-firing-firing five years ago. But I worked at a law college in a pit of pedigreed vipers who felt a juris doctorate entitled them to avoid taking any responsibility for their actions. Somehow it seemed more appropriate to blame the underlings….I mean it wasn’t like we had jds.

    A few short years later, I live in Costa Rica with a much better paying job, am able to make my own hours and travel whenever and wherever my passport takes me. When I feel angry about the injustice of it all I remember I think of state gov’t pay freezes, the piddly two weeks of vacation and the parking lot situation… warms my cold bitter heart.

  2. Gina · May 19, 2009

    I hope Jon is finally feeling better. Oh, I love that pattern you’re thinking about making! The beret is the perfect touch. As for the imaginary shopping, I do that all of the time. It’s quite rewarding — without any of the buyer’s remorse.

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