Moving forward…slowly

It’s about to storm in a most alarming way, but we need the rain, so I am glad. I wish I had project pictures to show, but since the light is bad, and since everything I’m working on now if for proposals, I don’t feel comfortable showing snaps. After I get accepted or rejected, maybe then.

But I’m choosing to think positive. One project is already contracted and done, and the other proposals are due by June 9th. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and trying to move forward with my life, albeit slowly. Sometimes, this means something as simple as reading a book. I’ve actually gotten back to reading…gasp! A book a week. Since I have such a backlog, I have no fear of running out anytime this year. Or next. But the simple joy of reading is a pleasure I’ve been happy to embrace again.

My last two reads were:
The Queen of Everything by Deb Caletti: A young adult novel I bought in 2002, before I even met Jon. Funny, huh? I do horde things. It reminded me why I tried my hand at my long-neglected YA in the first place – these books can be edgy and still be good. I would definitely read more of her work.
Dirty Little Secrets by Julie Leto: Hah, an autographed to me copy I got from Julie in 2004. That was the year I was at the Melbourne Florida Romance Writers Conference, and joined a great critique group. And the year I quit my newspaper job to enter the yarn world odyssey from hell. C’est la vie. A fun, light read.

Now I’m reading an Alice Hoffman. I used to love her stuff until it got too samey-samey, so we’ll see. It’s not like I don’t have 900 other books in the old bookbag.

I also watched a great movie: Dolls, a Takeshi Kitano flick. If you haven’t seen his work, you should. He veers between comic violence and maudlin sentiment, and this was in the second category, but it’s based on the Japanese Bunrako form of storytelling (with doll-sized puppets), and for me the selling point was the costumes by Yohji Yamamoto, which the entire production was based around.
dolls
That should give you some idea.

In fact, one of the pieces I’m trying to do for my proposal is out of a very drapey bamboo, and I so want to try someting asymetrical, very Yohji. Even though I tend toward the romantic in the design I favor, there’s nothing that says I don’t go by the old saw “simplicity is the keynote.”
yohji
I mean, come ON.

Now I just have to rewatch The Double Life of Veronique on DVD so I can sell it on half.com. That one fetches a pretty penny, let me tell you. I suppose I should be sad selling off practically my entire DVD collection, but really, I’ve come to terms with it.

Damned, we got a thunderstorm going on now, ya’ll.

Anyway, Jon took (dragged) me to see Star Trek on Sunday, and I must tell you I got a little drunk before showtime just to deal with it. I am no Trekkie! It was okay, but I got a headache halfway through, maybe because of the vodka or because I felt like I had been caged up in the Enterprise for too long. My thoughts: Uhura needed a sandwich badly, Spock and Kirk needed to just kiss and get it over with BADLY, and when the bad guy said, “Prepare the red matter!” to destroy that planet with a drill, I thought he said “Prepare the red BATTER!” because, as I said, vodka is GOOD, and I turned to Jon, totally serious, and said, “Are they going to pour red velvet cake batter on the planet? Because that’s tasty!”

I apologize if I ruined any plot points for the Trekkies. Actually, I don’t.

So the other good news is my partner and I have been accepted to October 3rd’s Third Annual Rock the Stitch in Delray Beach, and we’re already planning and preparing lots of new goodies. I sincerely hope we are more successful than last year, although we were successful last year. It would mean the world to me, to prove I can make something out of this little handmade enterprise. Not the starship.

I want to get my confidence up, eradicate some of my innate shyness and learn to put myself out there more. If this is what I really want to do, if I want to make a go of it, I need to find a way to do it. I read so many other handmade blogs for inspiration, and it’s time to stop saying “how can I do that?” or “I wish I could be more like HER” and actually do it.

This transition has been hard on me. People who I thought were my friends don’t call anymore. I can’t be the one to pick up the phone all the time, and sometimes, friendships forged in another place and time break down for a reason. The ones that remain are the important ones. Forging new ones can help. The funny thing is that during this whole ordeal, the people who have been the kindest, the most understanding, have been ladies like my dental hygienest Isabel and my hairdresser, Nancy. I think that kind of tells me something about people and their personal integrity.

And so, onward and upward. I’ve got some knitting to do.

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