In which I am dying from pneumonia, but will talk a little fashion

My husband, God love him, got a little cold last week, and instead of staying away from me, couldn’t resist getting all up in my grill, I’m just that irresistable. So, as of Saturday, I am dying of pneumonia. Not swine flu, I checked the symptoms. I am living on chicken soup, Nyquil, Robitussin and hope. It has moved into my lungs and I have to ask:
How come I have been so sick this year, the year I have been out of the public, and in the velvet cage? How can germs permeate my airtight chamber?

I’m blaming him, but since he’s bringing the soup and the ‘Tussin, I’ll let it go.

Let’s talk Emmy fashion. I watched it all yesterday, even the red carpet on hideous E!, because I had to remain upright so the phlegm wouldn’t go into my lungs. About the only thing of value I got from those wasted hours was the presence of Miss Nene from The Real Housewives of Atlanta (yes, I watch it.) who popped off this nugget. “Only white people are into vampires.”

I agree. I just don’t get it.

Moving on!

If a dress could cure me, it would be this one:
I want to marry this dress. Yes, Bonnie, if you are reading, I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant. This is hands-down my favorite color of pink, the pure dusty pink. Everyone must know this by now! I love the softness, the drape – if I had her body, I’d wear this dress. I do have a dress by Tara Jarmon in the same shade with a little sweater that goes over it. Now, it is not strapless, but I really need a strapless bra for it and since I don’t have it, the sweater is a necessity. But it’s got a crinoline, and I wore it to a Pink Martini concert. So folks, that’s as close as I’m getting.

I am shocked at how much I loved this Issac Mizrahi polka-dot number, too:
Perhaps it’s time for me to accept my innate girliness and deal with it. Chloe needs a little hair and makeup refresh, but I love this soft dress and the cat brooch, critics be damned.

Here’s one from the they love or hated it file:
I loved it, because upon first viewing, my thought was “Chrysler Building.” I think a lot of people went there. However, it does pull out from her tits, but I think it would from anyone’s who wasn’t a robot. Still and all a statement dress that ruled.

I interrupt my fashion critique to say I screamed as much as possible when this divine munchkin won:
Pushing Daisies, you are missed, as you got me through the first emotional months of my unemployment. Kristen Chenoweth, you will always have my heart, your voice is a gift I treasure and even though you look like a tiny disco ball and obviously need a sandwich, your tearful speech made me cry. And then I hacked up a lung.

(FYI: I read that she had to be carted off the Emmy ceremony after complaining of a severe migraine and inability to see – gasp! Turns out she has Meniere’s Disease, which is a lot like vertigo. Can I just say, I feel you on the migraine pain, luv?)

And now, the saddest dress I EVER saw:
Sigh. Elizabeth Moss, I love you. In a perfect world, your portrayal of Peggy Olsen would have won the best actress in a drama Emmy. But lady, this dress is the saddest, ugliest color of putty, wrinkliest, most hideous shower curtain I EVER done seen!

Well, I’m amazed I crapped that out. Understand, I can’t SPEAK, so writing is all I have right now. My husband will get a notepad with discourse when he returns tonight.

And may I say that even though Aaron Paul didn’t win best supporting actor in a drama for Breaking Bad, I was just as happy Michael Emmerson won for Lost. I have never missed an episode of Lost all these years, and his line readings crack my shit up every week it’s on. Salut, creepy Ben Linus!



  1. Toni · September 21, 2009

    You forgot that Gossip Girl actress who looked like she tied four pillowcases together and her mom attached them to some sheer curtain panels they had laying around the house. That poor girl really, really needs to fire her stylist for putting her in that mess of a dress.

  2. amy · September 22, 2009

    hehehe…i, too, have succumbed to the real housewives of atlanta. good stuff for when you are feeling lazy, or sick 😦

    i didn’t watch the emmy’s, but i’m happy to see drew barrymore looked great. and january jones can do no wrong. she’s flawless.

  3. Gina · September 23, 2009

    The Comcast feed in this neck of the woods offers the Style Channel, but not Bravo. I am pissed! I want Housewives, and I want Rachel Zoe. I will not apologize for my love of mind-numbing popular culture.

    I skipped the Emmys for who knows what, but I did tune into Mad Men, and I will agree that Peggy’s frumpiest MM outift beats this wrinkled mess hands down.

    Miss Chenowith can look like a disco ball all she wants. She is elfin perfection.

    Feel better.

  4. Bonnie · September 25, 2009

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha! And many thanks to 30 Rock for the best line of all time to express how much you love anything from emmy dresses to salads.

    I loved Chloe’s dress and Peggy Olsen’s dress too. I actually like the color and wear it myself. But I am colored like I am half vampire and half Costa Rican. Pale with dark……in that case the color works or so I’ve led myself to believe. My other disappointment was how wrinkly it got.

    Feel better!

  5. Bonnie · September 25, 2009

    Dark hair that should be dark hair. No more typing before I finish my morning tea.

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