My favorite Halloween movie…

Yes, I sort of have one!

And FYI, I made Halloween cupcakes today — vanilla and orange icing. I would show pictures, but they’re messy. I only care about the flavor.

So, unlike what appears to be most of America, Halloween is not my favorite holiday. I can take it or leave it. I don’t much care about holidays. But if I had to name my favorite scary movie, it’s Neil Jordan’s early freaky deaky Company of Wolves. From 1984, and based on Angela Carter’s fractured fairy tales. She even helped write the screenplay.

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The star, Sarah Patterson. If you check her IMDB page, the trivia says no one really knows whatever happened to her. Ah, mystery.


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And you can't have a creepy granny without Angela Lansbury. Or a good Paul McCartney lookalike. Anyone else watch that recurring bit on Craig Ferguson? No? Just me?


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A little dose of eroticism with the hunstman never hurt anyone.


And it does get scary.

Let’s face it, Little Red Riding Hood is ripe for reinvention.

I do sort of want to see recent fright fest Trick ‘r Treat, with Anna Paquin and one of my big crushes, Brian Cox (Again, THE ONLY HANNIBAL LECTER!!), but I get scared very easily.

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At least this is a nice attempt at a costume, instead of the usual slut version.

If YOU’RE going as Little Red, please, wear a skirt, and not the Lady GaGa No Pants version. I went out at 10 a.m. this morning and already saw three girls at the hair salon in full-on Slutoween wear.

And for a great treatise on Company of Wolves, and fairy tales and sexuality in general, may I recommend this book?
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Marina Warner’s treatise holds a place of honor on my bookshelf.

Maybe I will rack up more debt and finally go back for that master’s degree in Women’s Studies.

Thanks for being here for the journey with me this week. More observations on life next week!

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Chantal and the white vest

Finished the white tennis vest today for my third publication. I don’t feel bad putting a photo up because:
a) Not a lot of traffic here
b) I’ve yet to pop the contract in the mail
c) I’m not sure I like it, and am not sure they will either. This one may be a bust. What say you?

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I'm calling this one PALM BITCH. They can call it whatever they want...

We are a Nielson (TV ratings) family this week; but I haven’t turned the TV on all week except to watch DVDs. That will change tonight, but I do things by DVR. Last week I watched Masculin, Feminin — I love Criterion Collection films, especially for Goddard releases. And I love Chantal Goya’s look in this one.

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Sadly, I can never rock this look...

Tomorrow it’s Two or Three Things I Know About Her.

And I just found out Mira Nair’s Monsoon Wedding has a Criterion DVD, so that’s worth a rewatch.

Off to the Tweetup in my best 1950s vintage dress, very Joan Holloway. I haven’t sold off all my clothes yet…

This is how we get by

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JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING WHAT GOES ON ALL DAY IN THE VELVET CAGE....


Aw, isn’t he cute? Here’s the thing: He will only snuggle with me during the day, when I’m reading. Not at night. I think it has something to do with the “sunspot,” and warmth. Not love of mother.

There you go. And that’s my sewing cabinet in the back, full of yarn to make hats and such with, that no one is buying on Etsy. Boo hoo.

So look, I’m working hard, I finished a pattern I have to have a photo due of by this Friday today – now it’s blocking and just needs sewn and trimmed. I’ll do that tomorrow. I’m working on custom orders. And I’m doing a lot of reading, but I’ll talk about that later.

I was hoping An Education (the movie) would come to town, because I want to see it and get my Alfred Molina fix (yes, I find him smoking hot, and yes, I have strange taste in men), but it’s totes not open in So Fla, so I’m stuck here at home.

Thrusday I’m doing a Tweet Up with honey, and those are always great for free food and liquour. But I need to lose five pounds. So maybe I’ll hold back on too much food and liquor?

Then, Saturday a good friend asked me to go to a concert with her, and even thought it is SO TOTES not my thing, I said yes, because friends is friends and here’s the thing: It’s one of those awful 80s package tours, with (I’m serious) REO Speedwagon, Night Ranger and Styx. And I said “yes” because friends is friends, VIP section is VIP section, drinks is drinks, and here’s the deal, in case I’ve never told this story, and I so know I have.

In 1988, I was a camp counselor in Alabama, at this horrific Christian camp in the mountains (We called it Jim and Tammy Land) and not only were the children of the country group Alabama there, but Tommy Shaw’s niece Corey was, and she was in my cabin and was a sweetheart. I always wonder what ever happened to her. Not like I will be able to shout it to the stage or anything (maybe if I’m drunk…), but considering I was cabin counselor for a bunch of bed wetters, rich girls with mink teddy bears, tattletales, and general malcontent baby bitches, it was nice to know a relative of a rock star was the only NORMAL one. Plus, she had cute freckles.

Here are some pictures of me as a camp counselor. For identification purposes, I’m the one with the overprocessed blonde curls and big boobs. It was the 80s.

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I'm the one in the green shoes if the boobs don't give me away...


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I'm the one with the big mouth...you get the picture.

More later!

Lil’ Ladies

I just got the smackdown on Facebook from someone on this, but I don’t care. Aren’t they the CUTEST THINGS?

Mattel presents Barbie 'Ladies of the 80s' — Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper and Joan Jett. I want Debs!

Mattel presents Barbie 'Ladies of the 80s' — Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper and Joan Jett. I want Debs!


Pretty interesting that of all three, Lady Joan still looks the best.

So today, after three weeks of working on it, we cleaned out our storage shed and saved $70 a month. We went to the Green Market, and I’ll put a picture up of a yummy breakfast I ate tomorrow.

And as usual, I’m the world’s biggest football widow on Saturday and Sunday.

Sigh.

SCHMATTA

Coming up for air and realizing I’ve not posted in a while. I knit for money now, and that sometimes means 400 or more stitches on the needles for a ruffley scarf for someone else. Money is money.

I just re-watched Slumdog on HBO this morning, and the HBO documentary Schmatta this afternoon. If you have HBO, I highly recommend it!

I used to work for an idiot (we’ve established this!) who called everything schmatta without truly understanding the concept behind the Yiddish word. And I’m not even Jewish, people! But to really see where we’ve been and the jobs we’ve lost, this documentary is an eye opener. I have a confession to make: in all the sturm und drang of this year, I had been contemplating going back to school. I already have my B.A. in English, but I really wanted to go to a design college. I’m not shitting.

But seeing gifted pattern makers, designers, print designers — all who are in the same boat as me, about to run out of their unemployment, taking from their savings, losing their identity — oh well, maybe it’s time for a rethink. This is what happens when we send all the work overseas. That, and sweatshops, children working for .31 cents a day and fires in Bangladeshi factories. I’ll get off my soapbox now!

In my attempt to make things and sell them, I’m having little luck. The custom orders from friends and acquaintances keep rolling in, and for those I’m grateful. But it would be nice if my Etsy shop got some, any notice. Here’s what I’ve added in the past week (apologies if anyone already saw it on Facebook).
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Sometimes I have to ask myself why I’m doing this, but the answer is simple: if I didn’t, I’d go mad.

I just get so frustrated when I see THE SAME DAMNED THINGS on the front page day after day, including this new trend of taking a bunch of scraps of yarn, taking a ring, putting said strands through, and calling it a scarf.

I mean, really. My cat could do that. Maybe I should get him crafting?

Let’s all go to the movies…

And buy ourselves a treat! Anyone know that song?

So I’m going to see Bright Star by myself today, wish me luck. Luck that I’m not surrounded by Mortie and Ethel, coughing up phlegm, unwrapping moldy lifesavers or just being in general pills. Blech! Old people – Reason No. 76 to hate South Florida!

So here are two finished special orders I completed yesterday – nothing to get excited about. First up, a plain hat in (gasp!) 100 % acrylic with a cashmere flower. Two great tastes that don’t taste great together!
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Know what I will say? If you wash and dry acrylic, it does soften up. So there is that…
And second, I had to redo a pair of gauntlets because the person who bought the first gauntlet wanted two, when my listing plainly said ONE CUFF. But hopefully this will sort it out, and I actually got the yarn for free (yes, I said free) from Kpixie, since they are having a big sale, and I am good customer, and I ordered it and they said, “look, we’re getting rid of this, and this is the last of it, do you just want it?” Um, yes. Don’t tell. And yes, sometimes good things happen to me. But seldomly, so don’t judge.

It's Artyarns Ultramerino. Yum.

It's Artyarns Ultramerino. Yum.


So look, I know these are baby projects, and I will probably get laughed off Ravelry (who cares?). This is what I do. Cause Momma needs money. I’ve applied for two jobs I’m ultra-qualifed for this week, but no one has called me. I need my money where I can get it.

I’m working hard to finish some purses and and also doing some original designs of cabled hats and lace collars with vintage pins as decoration. I’ll put photos up soon. I want the shop stocked for Christmas so maybe I can make a sale or four. I get so pissed when the same four of five sellers get featured on Etsy every frickin’ day, but them’s the breaks, it’s a racket run by an Eastern Syndicate, and that’s the truth, folks, an Eastern Syndicate of Brooklyn hipsters who can kiss my tatooed ankle. Fuck ’em.

So I will leave you with my FAVORITE SONG AND VIDEO of this year, because honey suprised me yesterday with the news he got me tickets to see Raphael Saadiq in Miami the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It’s at The Filmore, a great spot where we just saw Thievery Corporation last Saturday, and he got pit tickets, so I will wear my sequined mini, maybe pull out some heels, and be dancing in the pit and stomp off any bitches who try and take my spot. This will probably be my last stand concert-wise for a while, so it’s good to go out on a high note.

BETTER.

Quickly, I apologize for the last ranty rant of a post, but actually, I don’t, because sometimes, it feels good to vent.

Living this way for nine months has been trying, to say the least. I am also attempting to release a lot of negativity from my life, and it’s HARD. I am also detoxing from smoking. Even though I didn’t smoke “regular” cigarettes, I’ve been smoking cloves since I was 34. You do the math. So quitting has been tough, but I’m doing it.

I went to see two movies in the last two days! Huzzah! Jon and I saw Zombieland yesterday, and it rocked my world. If you know about the big secret cameo appearance, you know why. Do I have to say it and spoil your fun? You know I’d leave my husband for intials B.M….

Best thing about Zombieland (as per movie?) No stupid Facebook updates. I concur!

Today was Whip It, which I liked much more than I thought I would. Wednesday is finally Bright Star. Oh, the humanity!

And I’ve decided I’m finally breaking up with Gossip Girl. Look, I love Chuck Bass as much as the next fangirl/gay guy, but I can’t take the stupid plot lines anymore.

I’ve also been looking at lots of fun experimental fashion a la the 2010 Spring Lines. Here’s some Gareth Pugh that made my head explode:00310m
Must finish custom orders and rash of cabled hats so I can play.

PS: Is it just me, or does Ravelry kind of suck these days? I mean, the boards. I’m sort of a lurker, anyway, but it’s the last place I go for intelligent discourse. Sorry, I’m a hater!

PPS: If your interested, check my Twitter feed (on sidebar) for my weekly Project Runway updates for a local entertainment site. The URL is there – I don’t want to put it in a post, for it will link back to this blog, and really, who wants to read my ranty rants?

Things I don’t care about

1) David Letterman and who he screwed. But if he’d screwed me, a full law school tuition would have been nice.
2) Jon, Kate, or the eight. I have never watched this show, and didn’t even know about it until this year. Get this dimebag whore and her douchebag ex off my TV, which I continually keep OFF lately. “I’ll work at McDonald’s if I have too!” Fuck you, whore. At least you have a CAR. Bite me.
3) Roman Polanski, unless I’m watching Knife in the Water. Now you know.

Just make it all go away. Make this fucking YEAR go away. I have never been so depressed in all my life. Would YOU like to live in solitary confinement? Really? Come live my fucking life. Live in a town with NO public transportation, out in a tiny one bedroom apartment on a road that has nothing but strip malls and two Publixes. Yes, I’m gonna try and be a BAG GIRL next. Because that’s why I wasted four fucking years of college and all that money from my parents, and my student loans I took forever to pay off forever. So I can bag someone’s groceries. I should have never aspired to be anything. Because I’ve become nothing.

Thanks for teaching me this lesson, God. I’m loving living in solitary confinement. I will end up dead, nothing but a hank of hair and a ratty old Vampire Weekend T-shirt, watching reruns of Real Chance of Love on VH-1.

Welcome to my hell. Don’t you wish you could join me in the seventh layer?

And if by some chance my former employer is reading this, which is doubtful — but she is a stalker — karma’s a bitch, and I hope you choke on your Harry Winstons and you suffer 100-fold for all the evil you’ve done, you worthless rag of shit.

There. I feel better.

Stitch Rock The Aftermath Part Un

After getting run over by a truck on Saturday (that’s what it felt like!) at Sitch Rock 2009, I’m back and working on a few custom orders. We did great business, and topped our sales of last year. Our booth space was right up front, and we had some wonderful return customers from last year who were looking just for us — and some wonderful compliments. One thing I heard a lot was that our booth and another return seller, Ragamufyn, were favorites. We love her stuff, too, so it’s quite a compliment.

Here are some pictures from the show – and I’ma say it now, peeps — I love my shirt, from the lovely Amy at Every Little Counts (check her out, she does some awesome screenprint shirts that are guaranteed to get you noticed!), but laws, I look FAT!

Me, looking fat. Before the deluge.

Me, looking fat. Before the deluge.


My incredible partner in crime, Marce, rocking a hat I made that is SO BIG, but hey, someone bought it, so there!

My incredible partner in crime, Marce, rocking a hat I made that is SO BIG, but hey, someone bought it, so there!


This is the lovely Amanda, Stitch Rock founder (so we all love her), rocking my Op Art Collar, which she bought. I told her I designed it this spring with her in mind, and it's the truth - I wanted something that would look good on ladies with "sleeve" tats who want to show them off. Voila!
Two happy customers, one wearing my hat on the left, and Marce's on the right. We love happy people!

Two happy customers, one wearing my hat on the left, and Marce's on the right. We love happy people!


If you’re interested in more snaps from the show, here’s a link to a slide show.

I’ll post more tomorrow about why I think we did so well, and what I think it takes to succeed at this type of venue. There’s another fair coming up in December in Sarasota (West Coast of Florida) that I wish we had known about sooner. It’s a possibility at this point, but would be a road trip and getting in this late would also be based on chance. Would it be worth it? Hard to say, but several people told us we’d do well there. It’s a two-day event, in it’s fourth year.

I’ve deposited all my money, and plan to pay a huge chunk on a bill this week. I also have plans to do a little advertising on Craft Cult, and produce some more stuff in hopes that I’ll get some sales for the holidays. My ultimate goal is to make it to the front page of Etsy, but they seem intent on revolving the same 20 knit sellers, so that may be an impossible dream.

In other news, I’m saddened by the tidbit I read today that Knit 1 magazine is ceasing publication. There will be no Winter issue, or any other, for that matter. Although it was derided in its early years, the last two issues had new editors and a new vision, and it really was looking good. But no one knows more than me the fates of the publishing industry in this sad economy. And I was hoping to submit to them. At least I’ll always have my back issues. Until I have to sell them for toilet paper money!

More tomorrow!

I need a new attitude

Look, I need a lot of new things.

I’ve spent all day working on pricing items, wasting time on the Net, and finishing last minute things for the show tomorrow. We’ll see how it goes. I’m at a crisis point, which means I know when this is all over at 6 p.m. tomorrow, regardless of how much money I make, something I was working towards will be over, and I’ll be back in the velvet cage, trapped again.

We are going through some financial struggles right now. It is a rather tough time. I find it hard to be chipper. So I’ll end with a dynamite picture I found from an article on an artist I really like — Miss Solange Knowles, AKA Beyonce’s baby sis. Good article, too, and I love her attitude. I try to share it, i.e. not caring what the junior high people think. It’s tough out there! Enjoy, if you like.
I’ve got to weave in some more ends.

I LOVE THIS SWEATER AND WANT TO COPY IT!

I LOVE THIS SWEATER AND WANT TO COPY IT!