Trying for some mojo

I will start my fourth week of work tomorrow. I have taken out references to the name of my workplace in previous posts so I can, as Aaron Nevillle sang, tell it like it is.

I really hate this job. But I’m staying. For now. I cried every night the second week, but I think by last week I had accepted my fate. I need a job, and this is it for the time being.

Here’s the deal: I am doing okay with most of the other employees. Some can go toss a freakin’ salad, but that’s neither here nor there. I know now that I stole “Les Nessman’s” job from him. He should have been promoted to the thankless job I got, and why he wasn’t is the eternal head scratcher. BUT, he went to part time to keep his benefits and got a great new job. So frankly, he’s doing better than me! It all worked out on his end.

Some thoughts:
People buy crap books to read. If I see another Eat Pray Love (a.k.a.Miserable Rich White Whining Bitch) or The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Who Ate the Peanut or whatever the hell that Swedish series is called walk out the door, I will SCREAM. People ask me if I’ve read it and I’ve gone from a simply “No,” to “I don’t do what everyone else is doing. I’m a contrarian.” That one really puzzles them.

I have never been hit on so much as I have in the last four weeks. I would love to tell you I am a stunning supermodelesque beauty, but frankly, I resemble no one so much as a young Stockard Channing. Seriously. Old gay men have told me this. But now, I have been told everything from “I’m coming back just to see you,” to “Are you Dominican? Because you have everything a Dominican man could want.” Be still my heart.

I have been sneezed on, coughed on, and handed slobber toys. At the end of the day, my feet are numb. Okay, just my left one. But still. And I have been forced to listen to music. Such music! Over and over and over again. Opera singer Reneé Fleming singing Evanescence. Non! Quelle horreur! Sarah MacLachlan, aka Human Lunestra. The evil ego-monster that is Sting, complete with some philharmonic backing him. And worst of all, this guy: David Garrett. He’s German! That explains it. Some classical lite violinst playing “Master of Puppets” and “Smells Like Teen Spirit” on his Strad. I want to die. I mean DIE.

True story: One of the Wi-Fi stealers (people who spend all day in the store using the free Wi-Fi and nothing else) came back in from one of his 10,000 smoke breaks and walked up to me to ask, “Do you ever get sick of this music? I mean, don’t you hate it? Especially this violin playing?”

With the fire of 1,000 suns, my nicotine friend.

About the only thing I could stand was the new Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers album, which only got one week of play. But the music department manager gave it to me to keep, which was nice.

Well, that’s about it, ya’ll. I read something today that said blogs are going the way of the dodo bird, and I’d hate for that to be the case here, so I will try and post more when I can. I’m just so damned tired and burned out, it’s tough.

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6 comments

  1. Gina · August 10, 2010

    Oh boy! I was hoping that a bolt of lightening would hit, and that things would magically turn around. Everybody loves Eat, Pray, Love. It took me three tries to get through it, and all I wanted to do was take a southbound train from Poughkeepsie, smack her, and then re-board.

  2. Toni R. · August 10, 2010

    I haven’t read Eat, Pray, Love because the title just sounded stupid. I really wont read it now that it’s a movie. I did read most of Girl With a Dragon Tattoo and the first hundred pages of Swedish finance reform put me off and then the predictable plot in the rest of the book really, really put me off. At first I thought that maybe it was the translation so I started reading the second book and then I finally came to the conclusion that nope they are just really stupid. I’m sorry your job sucks are you at least selling a bunch of those things?

  3. Susan · August 10, 2010

    I haven’t read Eat Pray Love. Was hoping the movie was a food movie. I might see it just to drool over Javier Bardem. I would jump his bones if he walked into the room right now. And my husband is sitting here. Seriously.

    And do not diss Stockard Channing. I had a girl crush on her and have no clue why. I just wanted to be her.

    Death to “lite” anything, especially music.

    Hang in there. Good things are coming.

  4. Toni R. · August 20, 2010

    My husband has to conduct a bunch of job interviews today and I’ve spent the last two days trying to persuade him to use the Why are you special question. So far no luck, but he is toying with the idea of asking If you could be a color what color would you be and why.

  5. amy · August 24, 2010

    oh no… that bad, huh? i’m so sorry. i don’t even know what to say. should i admit that i read eat pray love? truth is, my best friend insisted i read it, but i only made it through the italy portion, and i think it’s only because moving to italy, spending my days eating, drinking, and lounging is a definite fantasy of mine. once we got to india and meditation, i was out.

    well, i am sending you hugs. xo

    oh, and it’s finally getting cooler here in nyc, so i’m ready to snuggle up in my tanya made scarf whenever you are 😉

  6. Bonnie · August 29, 2010

    I read all three of The Girl Who Played with Hornets and Ate Fire Wile Getting Tattooed books and thoroughly enjoyed them. I was also raised with a Norwegian stepdad and absorbed some kind of affinity for all things Scandinavian. But Eat, Pray, Love was removed from my reading list after seeing an interview with the author.

    She came across as a self-absorbed know it all whose outlook on everything appears to be colored by her ability to sell it as a book. Harsh perhaps but she really rubbed me the wrong way.

    Anywhoodle, love the nickname Les Nessman.

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