Golden Rules

I’m off to work in an hour. I don’t hate working on a Saturday, because once it’s over, I usually have Sunday and Monday off. It’s Fridays that I hate. Working from 2 to 10 is horrific.

How I kill the time: Yes, I will not lie, I actually sometimes stand there and read books on the eReader. What is my choice of reading? Celebrity bios, mais bien sur! Last week it was Raquel Welch’s Raquel: Beyond the Cleavage. Bitch. She stole that title from me!

This is how I look every night when I get home. Actually, no.

It’s really more of an “aging fabulously” manual, but frankly, I need that right now.

This week, it was Tim Gunn’s Golden Rules. You can read that in a few hours, trust me. Tim’s golden rules are indeed….golden, but he does offer a side of serious dish. Issac Mizrahi is a diva and Anna Wintour is a bitch. Pass it on, in case you didn’t already know!

But seriously, Tim says take the high road, and I always try to do just that. One of my many problems with this ABYSMAL job, and let’s face it, it is, is the fact that people I used to work with keep walking in the front door! And where am I situated? Right there, smack in their face! Now in most cases it’s been okay, especially with people from the paper, and even for former customers of mine from ye olde yarn shoppe. They’ve been dears.

But one of my former co-workers from ye olde yarn barn just had to come in yesterday (the day I ripped my favorite jacket, was still fighting a cold…I could go on) and she just had to walk by with her friend and make a snide comment.

This is not surprising because she is an uppity, snotty bitch who I once told “Go fuck yourself.” Kids, I had it coming.

But I took the high road and didn’t engage. Instead, I had my favorite new co-worker, who I’ll call Youngblood, come be my knight in shining armor so she couldn’t hit me up alone on the way out.

And as she walked out the door, I said so she could plainly hear me, “Satan get behind me!”

That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it. I kind of have an old lady crush on Youngblood, but I have discussed this with my husband, and we are cool. Don’t worry, I would never corrupt a young virgin boy.

I promise!



  1. Gina · September 12, 2010

    Youngblood! I warn you, these crushes on bright young things just get more intense and more frequent with age. Tim Gunn should write about that! I’m glad you’re reading the Welch book. I’ve toyed with the idea of getting it from my library, and you’ve justified my interest.

    Let’s talk tomorrow night!

  2. amy · September 17, 2010

    ha, i always think it helps to have a crush at work.

    and, ok… so what are raquel’s tips on aging gracefully? share the knowledge! 🙂

  3. Bonnie · September 20, 2010

    If that is all that woman had to do on any given day then seriously that beytoch should get an effing hobby.

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