Wouldn’t it be nice to blog at least twice this month? I think so….
I’m going to be a bit talkie, as I have some stuff I want to get out. I need to unburden my mind.
First: I hate my fucking job. I think you know that by now. But it’s getting worse and all I can do is endure. Because, medical bills and credit card bills, right? Here’s the deal: you all know where I work. I am not going to say the name. And you know what I sell/do. Well, probably starting in a week (they never tell us anything) I will start wearing a fucking uniform to work.
Yes, I’m pissed. If I wanted to wear a men’s polo with a logo on it, I would have applied for a job at Target or Best Buy. I did not. Add to that the fact that I have put on 30 lbs. since I started this job (I shit you not!) and I don’t need something highlighting every bump on my body. I have never looked good in this style, anyway. Am I thinking of creative ways to hide the thing with jackets, sweaters and scarves? Hell yeah. And they can suck it if they think I won’t. Please, shithole national bookstore chain, fire me. I’m begging you. Besides, I would rather wear this:
As for what I mean by plastic crap….well, if you’ve been in the place of my employ recently, you might have noticed a distinct lack of books. I think we all know why, but replacing them with plastic crap made in China isn’t exactly “winning.” Games and educational toys I get, but did you really need a plastic statue of Sonic the Hedgehog? Or, as the weird French lady said to me, “Sonique.” I thought she meant the Eurodisco singer.
So, enough about THAT. I vacillate between tears and frustration and thankfulness that I have a shit job that barely pays me $X per week. I can’t live on my salary. My husband is also lucky to have a job, since the fourth round of layoffs at HIS business (which used to be mine) just went down. People I worked with for years were let go, and more will go by next April when they have finished their “restructuring.” Damn, I’m sick of typing air quotes!
I am actively seeking new employment, but it’s so discouraging I can’t even explain. I think in many ways technology has grown too fast, and now we’re left sending resumes into the wild Net yonder with no hope of ever hearing back. I’ve felt for a long time that I would be be better off finding ways to make money on my OWN. When I was unemployed, which, sadly, I look upon as my happier days now, I made a shit ton selling my possessions on Half.com. But books and CDs and DVDs won’t go for much these days. I also sold a lot of my clothing to consignment stores. With the advent of the uniform days, I might just do that again – sell off my work clothes.
I’ve been making good money doing custom knit and crochet orders, but not on Etsy. I can’t remember the last time I sold something there. Either I’m doing something wrong or I don’t know how to play the Etsy game.
So I’m left with some big questions, and not a lot of answers. The more my husband and I cut in our budget, the more bills we seem to incur anyway. As of today, we cut the cable. This is something I’ve been hungry to do for a while now. I feel so overwhelmed with everything, I don’t need to have the TV be my numbing agent. There are better ways to use my time, and I’m discovering them. Just today I read two papers, fixed something in my closet that has been broken for months (a shoe rack), cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. All while listening to my old vinyl.
It’s funny, but so many blogs or even Etsy stores that I used to admire have shut down or changed. I understand that people are focusing on new things or that Etsy is not as successful for them as it once was, but for whatever reason, I seem to plod on.
I hope my new strategy has me blogging more, b/c I honestly do it for ME. I have to get my feelings and frustrations out some way, so thanks for listening.
PS: I still have Netflix and Hulu streaming, so I can watch what I want. Which has recently included documentaries on Vidal Sassoon and Czech boy porn actors.
Yes, I’m THAT person!