Stop making sense!

I want to say before I forget: Don’t you hate it when people say, “Does that make sense?” I say people, but let’s be honest – GIRLS. Girls say it all the time!

Does that make sense? Does it? Are you stupid? Because that’s what I’m implying when I ask that question. A simple “Do you understand?” would work just as well. “Do you have any questions?” That works, too! But please, for the love of David Byrne,

STOP ASKING IF THAT MAKES SENSE!!!

Although to be fair, I’m guilty of it, too.

Here, let’s talk about slippery people for a moment.

Do you know what tonight is? It’s my 30th high school reunion. Do you know where I am? Not at my 30th high school reunion.

I went to the 10th, and a muscle relaxer combined with some Johnnie Walker Red made the evening bearable. I went to the 20th, and took the husband. But he wasn’t my husband yet. I was utterly miserable and ended up sitting at a table where the principal decided to plop his dumb ass. No seriously, this guy was notoriously stupid. When he asked me what I was doing now, I said I was making meth in my basement.

Maybe that wasn’t a such a good idea?

But I digress. I hated high school with the fire of a thousand suns. I made excellent grades, graduated in the top ten of my class. But I was deeply unhappy and felt like such a freak. I know kids today have it just as bad, maybe worse. But at the same time, the tide seems to be turning. Being a freak is a good thing! It’s good to be different, better than it was!

I wish it had been that way for me. No one told me to wear safety pins on my stockings or clothes pins in my ears, it’s true. I made those decisions stone cold sober! No one suggested I have posters of Echo and the Bunnymen AND David Byrne in my locker. That’s kind of a double-nerd whammy. But I was a pretty big Talking Heads’ fan. “More Songs About Buildings and Food” was my JAM.

But more than anything, I wish I could go back in time and tell myself don’t be hurt or hate yourself for a single day because of what people say about you. I was called ugly or a variation thereof almost every single day. “Dog” was a particularly favorite term in the halcyon days of the 1980s. Which is why you’ll never hear much 80s’ nostalgia from this quarter. Seventies, well, that’s a different story….

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This is a very small picture I know. I got it in a screen cap from our yearbook, which I found online. When I look at my 17-year-old self, I can’t believe for one day I every believed all the things those people said to me. When I look at myself as I was then, I see a beautiful girl with perfect skin who had a head full of curly hair, it’s true, but why was/is that a bad thing? And yet I was made fun of for my hair more than anything! When I look at myself, I see a beautiful girl who looks out of time, like an old-fashioned cameo. And I’m so sad for all the years I lost hating myself.

And one more reason I’m not going: They’re all a bunch of right wing zealot jerks! One of them just posted a screed praising the Confederate flag! AND SHE’S A TEACHER!

This was my favorite song to dance to in my underwear during the high school years. Very Risky Business, just with less Seeger and more Byrne.

DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?!

Summer Fever

I haven’t posted in a month but I’ve been busy. I got the job I applied for at the paper, but I’ve only been at it a week and a half, give or take. I won’t get my first bigger paycheck until this week (Friday), although it may not be complete if they didn’t start me until June 1. We’ll see, I guess the next mid-month check will tell the tale.

And I’m looking forward to the money, and the vacation time that I’ll accrue, and a bit more job security, although does anyone really have job security these days? I’m happy to be away from Negative Nancy, whose real name was actually Debbie Downer. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

My mother did indeed get married, and I wish her all the best. She is on a trip with the new groom to Chicago now, and I haven’t even been there so good on her.

About a month ago, when I still didn’t know if I had the job in the bag or not, I finally decided to stop moping and do what I wanted to do. How great would it have been if I had done that back in September, but better late than never, right? So, I started walking at the park almost every day.

I bought a Fitbit in February, and was doing good until the flu sidelined me. But I decided if I was going to buy the damned thing I was going to USE it. And so, I have. I try to get at least 10,000 steps a day, and 30 minutes of activity a day. I’m proud to say I hit that goal five out of seven days each week.

Have I lost weight? NO. And it’s tough but I’m going to have to release that desire and just try to be healthier and happier. Walking for between a half hour to an hour a day after work is doing that for me. Being in nature, even though if you had told me I would look forward to this six months ago I would have laughed at you. HARD. Every morning when I get up, I can’t wait for the workday to end so I can go home, feed the cat, change and head to the park.

I have two I go to. If one is overcrowded, I got to the other, secret park, unless I see someone skulking around in a van (which has happened). Stay away from me, G. Gordon Liddy!

Even though it’s Florida, and even though it’s June, I have managed to stay comfortable. And I’m never without my iPhone and headphones. I listen to Amazon Prime, or Pandora, or Hoopla Digital – the library’s free lending program. I tend to listen to the absolute disco-ey of the disco tunes. Van McCoy. K-C and the Sunshine Band. Earth, Wind and Fire. And especially Donna Summer deep cuts, anything from Four Seasons of Love, a disco concept album. It’s not just for prog anymore!

I was listening to Out Q radio on Sirius this week, as I do EVERY day (you don’t have to be gay, but it helps if you’re a drag queen, like me), and Larry Flick was playing his Friday night disco extravaganza. Listen, when you start it with a Sylvester obscure album cut, and follow it with Loleatta Holloway, I’m IN. But then he played “Lucky” from Bad Girls, which is an icy, pre-techno workout that tickles my sweet spot. Larry then said what I’ve always thought: Even though Donna can BELT, it’s her high, piercing head voice that really commands attention. I think it will be a long time before we find a vocalist who’s so fluid again. And there I go, getting nerdy with the music talk.

I’ve also been listening to Dawes’ All Your Favorite Bands for the Laurel Canyon, Jackson Browne-type feels, which I got for free on Amazon Prime, and Brandon Flowers’ The Desired Effect, which is 80s’ Simple Minds-style pomp at its finest.

I’m re-reading Ray Bradbury’s Dandelion Wine, to celebrate the start of summer. I haven’t read it since fifth grade, so I figured it was time to revisit Green Town. This cover image from about 20 years ago, by Thomas Canty, is one of my favorite pictures – I used to want to get a print of it, but I have so much art I haven’t even framed yet, it seems wasteful.

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And now I must run, because it’s almost time for the Tonys! I have to fight honey who wants to watch Game of Thrones, but really, we can do that anytime with On Demand. I only get to see what happens when someone loses best actress in a musical once! And also, there’s Ken Watanabe in The King and I. One of Mama’s Precious Angels! Shall we dance? Indeed!

What are YOU doing this summer? Whatever it is, I hope it brings you the little piece of joy my daily walks, my books and my still-here kitty Ringo bring me.