She’s gone (and I would NOT pay the devil to replace her)

I can’t believe I haven’t posted since May. I’ve posted many times in my mind, sitting at work, going to bed, driving in my car. I make up epic posts in my mind during those times, but then I get home and the cat is screaming to be fed (we have taken to calling him Mongo instead of Ringo due to his alarming beastlike behavior. It’s nothing to do with Blazing Saddles. I swear). Or I have to pee like a racehorse. And take my bra off. And all those general things that get in the way of blog posting.

And even now, this is a draft I started a few days ago and am finally typing up on Friday morning. Before work. But I think I will feel better if I get it done. Some sense of accomplishment, maybe? And I won’t proofread very carefully, so forgive my fast typing mistakes.

Yes, the bane of my existence is gone from work, and has been for well over a month. And that’s good and bad. Good because I am not always on edge or worried what is going to happen. But bad because I have no place left to focus my — I don’t know — anger? Fear?

When something is bad, I can dwell on it and then work harder at other things, like my job. But when the evil distraction is gone, I am all over the map. I can’t focus. I surf the Internet aimlessly. And that is not good.

So, there you have it. Since she’s left things have improved for me in a few ways, including monetarily. But I need to refocus my energies elsewhere. And knitting is not it, because I have about six in progress projects and can’t start another one now.

I should also mention I have had some severe gastro problems, combined with several visits to the doctor that have revealed nothing. And I also can’t stop gaining weight.

So, I am going to take the bull by the horns tomorrow and meet a friend for a boot camp. I need help, and can’t do it alone.

That’s about all I can actually type for now. I am going to leave you with something that is making me very happy. Whenever this song comes on the dentist office radio at work, I perk right up. So this is for you, all my ghetto superstars.

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