I’m sitting here waiting for my husband to call me to pick him up for work, and was looking for more Fall pattern previews. I was disappointed in the Knitscene preview, which is up, but I trundled over to Knitting Fever’s site, and lo, Louisa Harding’s Fall book Little Cake is up and about.

Now, I don’t know what a little cake is, I think it must be a place, but this is Masterpiece Theatre Porn done right. I can always count on Lulu. This hat is to swan for:

I know, I know, it’s simple, and I wouldn’t put all the doo-dads on it (she loves her doo-dads!) but maybe it’s the styling.

Maybe it’s the chicks in top hats, too. So Artful Dodger!

I don’t see myself buying this book, for I am poor. And umemployed. But still, I can swoon. There used to be a time when the KFI rep I dealt with was a total sweetheart to me, and all I had to do was call him up and say I wanted a new Louisa book and he’d send it to me gratis, even though I was ordering it. He just liked me. Which was nice. So now I have a full collection of spank books, and I won’t be selling those anytime soon. Pages are getting a little sticky, though.

And without getting into a long story, meeting Lulu, as I may have mentioned, was certainly INTERESTING, and I won’t go into details, but I surely don’t know how she does it, but she does: I’ve yet to find a pattern by her that is poorly written or designed. If it’s all due to fab tech editors, well then we’ll just say she has great judgment in her “team.” All I know is it’s a pleasure not to have to knit a poorly designed and written piece of twaddle. And I’ve met my share of those.

I’m working hard to get my capelet done for mailing to NY; a few minor corrections and ripping and I hate heavy wool in summer, but what can you do. I sent a proposal in to another place yesterday, but haven’t heard back. I’m wondering if it was because my “fashion sketch” resembled Zelda Fitzgerald on a bad bender. Oh well; if they don’t take it, I’ll submit elsewhere. It’s a great design (sketch be damned) in a great yarn (Blue Sky Alpaca Skinny Cotton in Gardenia) and is a good jump start on Spring fashion.

Have I mentioned I hate dentists? Three guesses where I was today.

Once again into the ether of Net World, five peeps, I must share.

I just stumbled upon Rowan 46 the fall preview. Imagine, if you will, my joy. I was prepared to relax, and enjoy the post-coital glow of my Masterpiece Theatre porn. A ciggy, a glass of port, and maybe some hot sex. For that, my friends, is what Rowan does to me. Never mind I have a stack of ’em (they’re like my spank journals) that I never even knit from. I need my jones!!

There are three sections: Heritage, Folklore and one that I think is called DEPRESSION RECESSION!!

Heritage says it’s: “A quirky and slightly English eccentric collection inspired by the privileged classes of the 1920’s.”

Thorington should be renamed Carrington, because it reminds me of that bloody awful Emma Thompson movie Carrington, with Jonathan Pryce as the horrible author Lytton Strachey, and he had bad “piles” in that movie, and Emma kept having skeevy sex with other guys and looked like Buster Brown, kind of like the girl in this photo, and UGH, yes, there was a time I would go see ANY British film.

NEXT! Folklore isn’t even worth mentioning. They do this every fall. It’s folky.

But GADS, DEPRESSION RECESSION, which is actually called “Shadowland,” is NOT about C.S. Lewis or that movie about him with Sir Tony Hopkins and Debra Winger, no it’s not!

Here’s the description: “A dramatic mill location is the setting for a collection of contemporary easy to wear designs inspired by the hard times of the industrial revolution.”

This one is actually nice, but they look like they’re scraping their last farthings together:

Um, I want to know which one is “Cheadle,” because I love me some Don Cheadle, and I’m not seeing the inspirpation.

Well, forgive me, this is not the normal ladylike previews most of your knitbloggers give you, but I’m not a lady, I’m a tramp, and Rowan, ya’ done let me down. First Nicole Bobek gets busted for meth, and now this.

Where is a wayward tart like me to turn to for gentility if I can’t get it here?

Okay, so it’s established that I have five lovelies who read this (I am counting my husband) so whatever, I don’t care, I am blogging into the ether and so be it.

Today was the Emmy nominations, and when you live in the Velvet Cage, well, you start to care about stuff like this again even when you say you won’t anymore, because really, what else is there but procrastinating on knitting deadlines (tomorrow, I swear!) doing laundry and applying for jobs whilst honing out the scammers?

I mean, what ELSE!?

And frankly, great art, which TV can sometimes be, makes me happy, so I am absolutely THRILLED that:

1) Breaking Bad, my favoritest, darkest show (sorry, Mad Men, I still loves ya’, but I love my meth show, and you’re both on AMC, so we can be friends, yes?!) scored big, and Aarol Paul picked up a supporting actor nod. He is the soul of this show, in my opinion, and makes my heart bleed each week as Jesse Pinkman.

Yo, seriously, (as Jesse would say), if you haven’t watched Breaking Bad yet, go ahead and rent the first season on DVD. You will thank me, if you can handle the dark. And I think you can.

CONFESSION: I have had to work with people all my life, when I was (cough) employed, who sat around the lunch hen party table going on ad infinitum about either Roseanne, or Two and a Half Men, or King of Queens, or any other insipid show you can name. If you are a fan, go ahead and throw cow patties at me. I hate that shiznit! Give me something I can sink my teeth into!!! I would rather cut off my ear and pour steaming fire ants, tabasco sauce and flaming bear poop into my ear canal than watch garbage.
DISCUSS!

2) Kristen! The lovely Lumay and I have gone on and on in e-mails about our Pushing Daisies lurve, and laws knows there are fan groups everywhere lamenting this dearly departed quirky show. But I’m not crying that the cancelled show didn’t get more love this year – I’m just delighted the delightful Kristen Chenoweth got another nomination.
Folks, I have been to a lot of concerts, but I count myself truly fortunate that I saw her a few years back at a small college hall down the road from where I live. Tiny room, tinier girl – she really is pocket sized. She was ill with the flu that night, but what a voice – sang an aria from Candide that could have broken glass, peeps. That’s a trouper. Oh, and she did it all in stripper heels. I miss the PD Fashion Extravaganza!

3) I will say amongst all the other folderol, because let’s face it, I look for the diamonds stuck in the pile of turd, I was sad to see no Jill Scott for The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency. I really enjoyed watching this show during the spring, my first few months of imprisonment in the Velvet Cage. I love Jill, her music, her acting, her beauty – just everything about her. It’s really telling there where no people of any color in the nominess, but that will take me down a “hate whitey” trail, and you reallly don’t want me to go there, because I so will, in a heartbeat.

True story part deux – I used to play both Jill’s albums at the yarn store hell – I think it really confused the yentas, but then frankly, a lot confused them. Like, oh, say, knitting. I am talking about womyn who used to bring baby diapers full of poop in the store for us to throw away. I think ya catch my drift.

Gotta go, hubby is bringing home dinner and it’s time to watch So You Think You Can Poop/I Mean Dance. Holla!

(Damn, ya’ll, I’m all about the pooh tonite!)

I have struggled the past few days with a depression that is so bad, I could do nothing but stay in bed and stare at the walls. I am trying, so hard, to move beyond it today. So first, pretty pictures.

I went thrifting on Saturday, after my chiro appt. and found some goodies destined for knitwear to be sold at the craft show. You have to hunt, but sometimes, you strike gold.

During the same trip, I actually did something bad. I bought stuff for myself. At a currently in foreclosure mall, I scored a lovely organic cotton skirt for 10 bucks. Justification, thy name is Tanya. But I need to make a little shrug to match. So Michaels and cheap-ass Paton’s Country, here I came.

Long have I been looking for the perfect navy and white striped nautical shirt, that French je ne sais quois thing – you know what I mean. Because I like the look (so adaptable!) and because I need something to model with a design I worked up and want to put in the shop. At last!

Finally to end the pictura-rama, I have been so depressed I haven’t wanted to knit a stitch, even though – um, I actaully HAVE to. So I crocheted a belt whilst watching “Hos of Love” or whatever they’re calling it now on VH1.

See, I still have my sense of humor. And that ends the pretty pictures portion of my post.

I wish I could tell you this was easy. I wish I could say I am happy. I am not. There have been difficult times in my life before, but being without a job, without a sense of purpose for so long is killing me. But more than that, the loneliness is crushing. I am the kind of person who loves and cherishes my “alone time,” but COME ON.

I live in a tiny apartment. My husband leaves for work early in the day and comes home late. I have no car but on the days I borrow his. And really, there is no place to go in this godforsaken area, where everything is spread out. It is hotter than Ecuador. I can’t get a place to even call me for a phone interview, and that’s after I sift through the dozens of bogus job postings.

If I lived in a different area, a big city where I could get around by public transport, or a college town where I could pedal about on a bike, it might be different. But it isn’t. So I’m stuck here, with my own thoughts eating away at what’s left of my brain. When I say I am over what happened to me, I believe I well and truly am. I’m not over the fact that people I thought were my friends don’t return my calls, but hey, that’s life, and I guess I’m movin’ on.

If you read this blog and leave comments, thank you. I heart you. To my test knitter who has had to deal with all my dramaz, Margaret, thank you. I bet you didn’t think you’d get a depressed unemployed Floridian to knit for, huh? But you are the bomb.

To anyone who comes here on a daily basis and passes by, leave me a comment. Let me know you’re out there. It will make me feel a little less alone, and I’ll thank you from the bottom of my heart. I mean it.

I thought I could do this – live a life where I crafted and was creative. But financially, it’s impossible. I see that now. But today, I think I am a little better. Ice cream and cupcakes have helped, and so I will work hard today, putter around and keep myself active.

Because really, I just don’t know what else to do. I wish there was an app for what I was going through.

It’s amazing what happens when I don’t post. I go down from my huge page view of 12 per day to zed. Whoa. What a following I have!

Anyway…

I did a MASSIVE shop update last night and today, and we now have 49 items in the Dreads and Curls stable. I have relisted some of my partner’s lovely items, and with the addition of some of my newer pieces and more vintage jewlery, this will be it until October with the exception of some more things coming in weekly. Not a lot – and I can honestly say it’s time for me to move on from the hats. Belts and some killer tops are coming. More on that later! But for now, collars and such.

I’m going to make a grand shop announcement TOMORROW, but for the month of July, I’m going to do a BUY ONE HAT, GET THE SECOND HALF OFF SALE. Seriously. These tiny hats need good homes!

In other news, we had a lovely, relaxing fourth with my lovely parnter and her friends and family. Good food and fellowship all around. I’m working this week to make pattern corrections on my sock, and will be reknitting my capelet as well. I’m also applying for real jobs, but no one is calling me for an interview. I think I will shut up about that for now.

In sad news, Jon alerted me to a sports’ story last night that is pretty pathetic. Former U.S. National Ladies Figure Skating Champ and a part-time local resident with family ties down here was arrested and extradited to New Jersey from being at the upper echelon of a meth ring. Nicole Bobek, wha’happen? I know, I know – here it comes. Somewhere, Tonya Harding is sitting and saying, “Damn, ya’ll, maybe they’ll leave me alone NOW!” Truly, the mugshot, which our local gossip columnist put up on our local paper’s Web site (I’m NOT linking it) is all kinds of sad. This former glamour girl, who reminded me so much of my sister, now has cropped brown hair and rings around her eyes. This is not always a pretty sport, folks.

In other news, Christian Lacroix sent out what may be his last couture collection. Here’s a slideshow on Jezebel. Watch it and weep for this lost art. This one is my favorite:

Seriously, yo, wait until you see the capelet with vents and real fur collar I am working on (fur came from Goodwill). My homage to Lacroix, sweetie.

I think that will be it until tomorrow. I’m sure I’ll have something else to rag on from the velvet cage.

What we need is more quick and dirty blog posts. I am lacking energy, due to severe migraines brought on by daily thunderstorms this week, and creeping panic over a lack of job. I don’t want to depress anyone; I’m depressed enough myself. Onward with a few things:

A few more hats made this week, a shop update coming soon. Won’t someone, anyone, buy my tiny hats? Maybe at the show in October…


On the pink one, the flower is, as usual, removable, and on the tan one, the pin is a vintage 1928 brand brooch. I have even more vintage pins I’ll be incorporating on upcoming hats and some collars I haven’t photographed yet.

I’m just trying to crank out as much as I can before next week, when I re-knit the capelet to get that off in the mail. Also picked up more vintage jewelry, some vintage cameras and ephemera (1970s Vera scarves, for example) to put in the shop. And these two guys – seriously, someone might want them. Owls seem popular.

Last weekend was the Glastonbury festival, and I would have given my left tit to see the Blur reunion. So I guess I’ll just have to be content with crappy You Tube videos and photos, like this one of my darling Graham Coxon. Serioulsy, my first “novel,” which sits buried on my hard drive, has a main character based on him. That’s how much I feel about you bay-bee…

Tomorrow Jon and I go visit some friends for a BBQ, and then we’ll go to an evening viewing of Anvil. I’m hoping this “feel good” story will cheer me up.

Been doing some reading, too, and that means I keep pulling books out of my bag I either bought or got at the used store, oh, five years ago. My reading drought is officially over, but it’s weird reading books that are a little dated. Currently it’s Eliot’s Banana, and good grief, this one is from 1998. I hadn’t even been on Jeopardy in 1998. I don’t know what I was doing in 1998. Probably still listening to the Chemical Brothers and going to raves in Miami. Oh well – it’s weird how the whole “chick lit” genre has folded in on itself, and the used book stores are littered with the detritus. This one isn’t bad, though, and has a reincarnated cat as a character. I kind of like that.

Also spent all day yesterday finally watching all the supplemental material on my The Double Life of Veronique DVD. Hard to believe that movie is almost 20 years old. Hard to swallow the fact that Kieslowski is no longer with us. And so hard to swallow the fact that I had to put it up for sale at half.com today.

Next week I will be trying to sell my gold. Such is my life. What can one do? Have a lovely Fourth, and thanks for the kind words about my pattern, everyone.