Coming clean

It’s been awhile, and I need to be honest. Are you ready?

I quit that job after ONE DAY. Call me crazy? Okay, please do. But I took a crap “administrative asst.” job for a lousy 12K a year from desperation, and during the one day I discovered this dude was going to give me one week of vacation a year – after one year. Oh, and he wanted me to clean the mens’ shop toilets. And mail out his “vintage cigar collection.” Which he stored in the….mens’ shop toilets.

So, I’m coming clean and admitting I was not prepared to clean men’s toilets. I’m not too good for it. Not at all — when I was a store manager, I took such pride and ownership in my store I cleaned those shitters until you could eat off of them. But this dude wasn’t up front with me, and frankly, I’ve been aiming TOO LOW. I’m tired of going down in the world. It’s time to go up.

I have a better job on the line. It’s not definite, but I interviewed for three hours this week. It’s decent, it’s marketing, it’s for a good company. We’ll see. It won’t shake down until after Easter. I will keep you informed. I won’t be announcing things on Facebook like last time. Facebook — the great chain letter of the Internet!

I did my craft show yesterday — one of THREE I do a year now, and I had the possibility to add a fourth, but I’ve decided not to. This was the first annual Odd Duck Bazaar, and it was nice but I didn’t clear the money I wanted, or that I usually do in October. So, we’ll see about next year, and hope October is better. Here are shots of some of my new merch:

I had these shirts made with our logo for us and the dummy to wear — and the scarf and matching vintage pin is one of my faves. It didn't sell but I'm listing it on Etsy. The pin is also a pendant, as you can see.

I love making these sawtooth lace collars, which I think are perfect for punching up a shirt or dress. The white one with the clock sold - I knew it would. Very Alice/or steampunk.

I always make last-minute stuff the week of the show, and this time it was jewlery. These two sold, glory be!

So it was a good day, and as always, a learning experience. Most of the customers and fellow vendors were great. I love seeing the creativity of the other sellers, and always wish I had the time and/or money to buy from them. I need a new wallet, and these folks have JUST what I want. But we got so busy, it was not to be. For me, half the joy is seeing the perfect girl buy the perfect hat from me. A lovely blond bought a pink silk beret and wore it around all day. Frankly, seeing her look so much better in it than me was worth it more than the profit. I truly mean that.

What I don’t like is the stupid cow in her late 40s wearing the 30 pounds of silver jewelry and Hello Kitty T-shirt who felt like telling me how “redesign” my wares. Hey, she bought some stuff, but not until she told me I should do THIS like THAT, and THAT looked like it belonged on a mental patient. Huh and UGH. Listen, sister, when you stop dressing 20 years too young, stop smoking and oversharing about your breast-feeding (I’m not joking), and THEN make it to the front page of Etsy and get your designs published, you can come back and tell me what to do.

Until them, please do suck a dry dirty cock.


We’re going to see The Arctic Monkeys this Thursday in Miami. Here’s a favorite video with one of my all-time crushes, Paddy Considine. Enjoy!


The first person I told in person

Was the post-lady. I told her she wouldn’t be sending me anymore letters from the Workforce Innovation Agency. Because I finally got a job.

So, hold yourself cupcakes, it’s not the be-all, end-all of jobs, and if you’re on Facey-space, you already saw my announcement. I got the call today; I start tomorrow. I had an interview out of the blue on Tuesday. You see, during the Olympics, I wasn’t just watching curling and crazy ice dance people. I was sending out a kajillion resumes. And one of them stuck. I interviewed Tuesday night, was pretty assured I got the job, went out drinking and got the call today.

It is not a “career,” it is simply a recept./admin support job at a small company. A small, VERY quiet, VERY slow office. With one man as boss, and three men working in back, manufacturing things. That’s it. Would I mind working in a slow office, I was asked? Um, NO. I don’t mind working with men either, after three years of crazy bitches.

I will still be here. I will be able to work on my Etsy store and shows, as this won’t cramp my style at all. In fact, let’s show some photos to alleviate the boredom of text: I need some help! Which pin looks better with this scarf, do tell.

The Aspen leaf is real gold, I got if for 6 bucks at the Hospice. But I love the dragonfly, and hate to lose him...Sob!

I also got T-shirts for us for our show, since we have a clean, white table and no banner — I thought this was a good substitute:

So anyway…This job doesn’t pay a ton of money, but I’m going to say a few things here: I have been unemployed for slightly over a year. My unemployment was due to run out in about four weeks. I have a small (I mean SMALL) chunk of change to live on. My husband cannot support me, or our household without some help from me. We are in this together.

I have learned to live on less this year. MUCH less. I quit smoking and save a bundle of cash that way. I have paid down over half my debt, and have only one credit card with a balance now, and I am working dilligently on that. I shop smarter, at the dollar store and green market. I will continue to sell things on, Etsy, and elsewhere for a bit of money. I can do this thing. I hope I don’t lose this job in three months b/c some places will do that (ie. hire you for three months and then throw in the towel), but if it happens, it happens. I will go on.

Wish me luck – I’m not out of the woods yet!

Hey, we’re going to Miami on Saturday to meet some friends and see phenomenal French band Air. You may know them from the soundtrack to The Virgin Suicides. Thought they’d NEVER make it to South Florida. Here’s one of my favorites.

If loving these are wrong…

I don’t want to be right! Just a quickie, ya’ll, I always do my Oscar fashion Monday morning quarterback report. Last night, my husband HAD to watch the whole show (I know — just when I reach the point in my life when I don’t care anymore, we MUST watch because his job demands it!).

So anyway, he had to live-Tweet it; as you can see below, I got a little crazy with the Tweeting as well, which I usually don’t do. But lord, the loggorhea and boredom sunk in, until crazy Kanye lady jumped on stage — let me be the first to say, I have worked with her ilk before, many times!

So, briefly, briefly: My two favorite dresses. Disagree all you like, that’s what this is about. It’s the American way! And for the record, you know I only had one horse in this race: Janet Patterson for her costume design for Bright Star. Poor dear lost.

Zoe Saldana in Givenchy

Okay, this dress is getting a lot of hate and some tiny love. Here’s why I like it: Even though this poor child needs a sammi in the worst way, she can wear a dress like nobody. I love how fashion-forward, architectural and textural this dress is. I’ve heard this called the mullet dress, the poodle dress, the plastic lei dress…I could go on. But I think it’s luscious, and every time I look at it, I’m more intrigued.

Carey Mulligan in Prada

This one took some coming around to. I hate the shoes, and wish she had not gone so blonde. And I remember Carey back when she used to eat a sammi or two (Bleak House). BUT. All the little cutlery and scissors running down the front is unusual, goth, clever and so young and fun and again, textural, that I am won over in the end.

And the Tanya lifetime achievement award for “How do you get those boobs to cantilever so nicely into all your dresses?” as always, goes to Queen Latifah. A skill I would like if I ever become a superhero.

More later in the week; we are going to see one of our favorite French bands this weekend and I’m very excited!

I hate it, but I like it

I sometimes wonder about continuing my adventures in blogging. Not to disappoint the five or six dogged souls who read this garbage I spew, and the eight or nine who wonder in from figure skating boards, spam sites and the vast reaches of cyberspace. But my life is in stasis, and I am totally BLERGH. First, the beauty of photos (which are also viewable from the Flickr link).

All these items are either for sale or sold. This is made from a hemp/cotton and modal blend. The vintage pin was so shiny once I cleaned it!

Two of the scarves have sold already, which is great but also a shame, since they were meant to sell together with the hats. Oh well!

I think it must look, to the experienced “knittah,” like I’ve regressed, but frankly, I try to make things that I think will sell. And I’m not a very fast knitter, so I can’t make some über-complex thing that I’d have to overprice, anyway.

These items were brought to you by the Olympics. I knit or started most of them during the fortnight. It’s over, and I’m glad, in a way.

So here’s the deal: I started going to the gym again. I HATE going to the gym, but I got fat all of a sudden. I didn’t put on pounds, but my gut started pooching out, and I just don’t know how or why or what I could do about it. So, every morning, off to the seventh layer of hell that is the gym. I have no results to show yet, but I’ll keep going until I do, or my membership runs out, which is June 25. I figure I’ll run it into the ground, literally speaking.

Why do I hate the gym?
1) OLD PEOPLE. We have the “silver sneakers” crew who come in and clog it up. They are slow. The women wear tons of perfume (Youth Dew, anyone?). They annoy me. I don’t like them.
2) The hot chick show off. You know her. Every gym has one. This chica struts around and does nothing but:
a) Show off on the tower of pain stair-stepper, which used to be my fave apparatus. She does it for five minute intervals, LOOKING AT HER ASS in the mirro all the time. GAH!
b) Show off on the pull up bars. Look – a pull up is one of the hardest things for a man, let alone a woman to do. I’m real proud that tiny ass can do them. But she does ten, drops off and swans around before hitting the bars again. Show off much?

I walked in the other day, and she was hogging the front desk, asking for so-and-so (her crush? boyfriend?trainer?) and standing in my way so I couldn’t key in. I may be short and round, but when I need to get on the treadmill, you better MOVE BITCH, and GET OUT THE WAY.

I don’t think I need to tell you she did. Freight train coming through, ya’ll.

Anyway, we’ll see how long this lasts. The blogging, and the gym. I am going through a tough time — the unemployment runs out in about a month, and after applying for about 100 jobs during the Olympics, NADA. I contacted a temp agency on the rec. of a friend today, filled out an online app, and was supposed to get a call back about coming in next week, but no call back. So I’ll call AGAIN on Monday. And I even applied at Starbucks, but that was just this week, and I’ve heard nothing after taking their monstrous personality test.

Personality tests: the new hell. Used to be you went to college, got a degree, proved yourself in the workplace and won awards for your efforts. That’s what I did. But now I have to pass some Blade Runner Myers-Briggs piece of shit test. So if you wonder why I’m cranky and don’t feel like blogging, well, now you know.

Happy Crackin’ Friday!